Christie (sam_can_do_it) wrote in sortinghat_fics,

Title: James Potter and Poetry Do Not Mix
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius
Warnings: Boy kissing
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Feedback: Always, I’m a comment-whore
Summary: A first kiss story
Word Count: 922
AN: Written for tellmeakiss day 13 prompt "Mulan Song" As an answer to the prompt, I blantantly stole the lines and had Moony say then. This is me giving the credit to Disney.

“Moony!” James burst into the dorm panting. “HELP!”

Remus looked up from the game of chess he was playing with Sirius. “Um… Alright, Sirius is probably close to…”

“Checkmate!” Sirius said, cutting Remus off. “So, Prongsie, what seems to be the problem?”

“Sod off Padfoot! I want Moony, not you!” James stated.

“What can I do for you, Prongs?” Remus asked, smiling benignly.

“Poetry,” James answered. Remus raised an eyebrow; so James barreled on. “One of the Prewetts, the straight one, wrote Lily a love poem. She was getting all gooey about it and there is no way in Hell that I can allow that bastard to get My Lily!”

Remus laughed a little and shook his head before responding. “First off, the straight one is Gideon. You really should be able to tell them apart by now. Gideon has short hair and likes girls and Fabian has hair almost as long as Sirius and likes boys. Secondly, ‘that bastard’ is your friend and teammate. Third and finally, I will help you write a love poem for Lily.”

“I’ve got a better plan. You write it and I’ll put my name on it!” James tried to give Remus puppy dog eyes but fell very short.

“Then it would be me seducing Lily and I think there are at least two of us that don’t want that.”

“Are you saying Lily isn’t good enough for you? What’s wrong with her?”

“What’s wrong is that if I ever dated her I’d be betraying one of my best friends in such a way that would probably get me murdered.” Sirius watched the play by play and was almost falling off the bed laughing. “Let’s move on to the poetry writing before this becomes bloody.”

“Fine, how do I write a love poem?” James asked with a sigh.

“Your best bet is to just describe her and how she makes you feel. Using figurative language and not talking about her tits or her arse.”

“So, what do I talk about then?”

“Prongs,” Remus sighed, rolling his eyes. “If the only thing you like about Lily is arse and tits, I’m not helping you!”

“Well, I also like her hair and her eyes and the way she speaks her mind, like when she fights with teachers about morals and principles and how she refuses to be a real member of the Slug Club. I love how she cares about her friends as much as I care about you idiots. I love it when she’s all sweet to the ickle firsties we torture.”

“Ok, that’s better.” Remus smiled at James. “We write about that. Only if you want it to be a poem you need to make it sound pretty and I would suggest leaving out the part about torturing first years.”

“How?” James asked, the look of utter confusion on his face was hilarious.

“Let’s practice on Sirius,” Remus said with a devious smirk. He’d gotten fed up with the inane laughter coming from the overgrown puppy. “Prongs, describe Padfoot poetically.”

“No.” James and Sirius said in unison.

“Fine,” Remus sighed. “Describe Sirius un-poetically, I’ll turn it poetic as an example and then maybe you’ll be able to turn your Lily list poetic.”

James looked at Sirius for a minute. “Ok, well, he’s a really good beater, fast, strong, powerful. He’s really good at confusing the other players.”

“I wasn’t really going for Quidditch skills, but I’ll work with it.” Remus thought for a few minutes before reciting, in a dreamy voice, “He’s swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon.” He blushed a little when he finished. “Sorry, somehow the moon always manages to work its way into my poetry.”

“Wow, you got a crush on Padfoot or something?” James asked bluntly.

Remus blushed at least ten shades redder than he already was. “No,” he squeaked. It was obvious no one believed it.

“Moony,” Sirius said. He tried to figure out what else to say.

“It’s alright, Moony,” James responded calmly. “Padfoot has the hots for you too.”

Sirius shot James a death glare before turning back to Remus. The two boys just stared at each other for what felt like and eternity. “Well, Moony, it’s true.” Sirius sounded insecure and nervous.

“Um… Prongs, would you mind if I talk to Pads alone for a minute?”

“Sure mate. I’ll be in the common room attempting poetry. Come help when you can.” James grabbed some parchment and a quill and headed out.

Remus turned back to Sirius, who was worrying his bottom lip. “Really?” Remus asked nervously.

“Really!” Sirius said with a sigh.

Remus moved so he was sitting right next to Sirius. “Really really?”

Sirius put his hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Really, Moony.”

Remus leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth. “Me too, Pads.”


James had been in the common room working on his poetry for ten minutes when Remus and Sirius came downstairs. Sirius walked up to James and smacked him on the back of his head.

“What the bloody hell was that for, Padfoot?” James shouted.

“That’s for having a big mouth!” Sirius stated with a smirk.

“Obviously it worked out well if the big doofy grins on your faces are any sign,” James huffed.

“Trust me brother o’ mine. If it hadn’t worked out, you’d be getting much worse than a smack in the head.”
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